What Skills Does it Take to Be Self-Determined?
A deeper look at the eight teachable skills that help students take control of their futures.
I recently sat in a transition planning meeting with a student I’ve supported for several years—let’s call her Julie. When we first started working together, she was so riddled with anxiety that she wasn’t comfortable naming any goals for herself in adulthood. Even a year ago, when we began planning her self-directed program for life after special education, she was hesitant to commit to any part of her programming.
But today, at her transition planning meeting, I realized that something significant had shifted. As we began reviewing items on the agenda, Julie’s mother asked about a housing application. She wanted to know whether she could get the login information so she could keep tabs on it after Julie left her school program. Before anyone could respond, Julie spoke up. She explained that she had already asked her school counselor about the application earlier that day. She shared that she’d completed one version of the housing application but wasn’t happy with it. She wanted to complete a different one. She then turned to her school-based transition coordinator and asked if she could set up a meeting next week to finish the second housing application.
As I sat there, I was in awe of how much Julie had grown—not just over the past few years, but especially in recent months. What I witnessed in that meeting was self-determination in action. Julie thought ahead. She reflected on what she needed before leaving her high school program. She had goals. She spoke up. She advocated for support. And she made a concrete plan to get what she needed. Watching Julie use these critical self-determination skills, I felt a deep confidence that she would make a successful transition from her special education program.
When you specialize in transition planning for students with disabilities, you spend a lot of time focused on self-determination. You learn quickly that when students learn to set goals for themselves and take control of their own lives, they are more successful. And that’s not just professional instinct—research consistently shows that when students exercise self-determination skills, they experience better outcomes and greater satisfaction in adulthood. As I’ve seen with Julie, the IEP and transition planning process itself can be one of the most powerful vehicles for teaching those skills.
Still, educators, parents, and advocates sometimes worry about students not being realistic or not having the emotional fortitude to lead the team process. But the reality is, if we don’t empower students to take the lead, then we simply aren’t preparing them for adult life. It doesn’t matter how “great” or “complete” an IEP is if the student isn’t at the center of the process—and if the student doesn’t feel empowered in their own life.
With that in mind, I wanted to spend this week describing the eight components of self-determination identified in research: self-awareness, self-regulation, self-efficacy, self-advocacy, choice-making, decision-making, problem-solving, and goal-setting and attainment.
1. Self-Awareness
You can’t be in control of your life if you don’t know who you are. That’s why self-awareness is where self-determination begins. You can look up the definition of self-awareness in Merriam-Webster and it will talk about individuality and personality. But it’s so much more. If students don’t understand who they are--what they’re good at, what they enjoy, what interests and motivates them, what challenges them, and what they need to get through it all—they can’t really set meaningful goals, stay motivated to reach them, or advocate for themselves when it counts. For students with disabilities, self-awareness also includes understanding their diagnosis (or disability label), their disability-related needs, and the supports that help them succeed. Seeing oneself as a whole constellation of strengths, challenges, and even labels—and recognizing that you may act or feel differently in different situations—is a powerful part of being self-aware.
2. Self-Regulation
Self-regulation is about managing your emotions, energy, attention, and behavior—especially when things aren’t going smoothly. We often talk about this skill when addressing mental health, sensory regulation, or executive functioning challenges. In the context of self-determination, self-regulation is also about helping students recognize what allows them to engage in—and sustain—goal-directed behavior. They need to know what motivates them, what distracts them, and what helps them get back on track. A self-regulated student doesn’t just recognize when they’re bored, frustrated or distracted—they know how to respond to those feelings in a way that helps them keep moving toward their goals.
3. Self-Efficacy
While self-awareness is where self-determination begins, self-efficacy—or a lack of self-efficacy—is often where self-determination collapses. Many students with disabilities learn helplessness early in life. As parents, educators, and providers, we may spend so much time fighting for and providing support that we can unintentionally send the message that a student isn’t capable. For our students, self-efficacy means believing that they have some control over their lives—that they have the right to set their own goals and the ability to achieve them. It grows when students become aware of their strengths and are given real opportunities to use those strengths and persist through challenges. Self-efficacy is built when we help students try, fail, adapt, and try again—while reminding them that struggle doesn’t mean they lack capability. It means they’re learning. And self-efficacy solidifies when students believe they can set their own goals, choose to take risks, learn from failure, and ultimately succeed on their own terms.
4. Self-Advocacy
Early in my career, I was trained in Michelle Garcia Winner’s Social Thinking curriculum, and one thing she said has always stuck with me: you can’t go through life without other people having thoughts about you. Even if you hid in a box, people would still have thoughts about you hiding in that box. Her point was simple but powerful—we’re social beings. People interpret our behavior whether we intend them to or not. When our needs are unknown or unexpected, they are often misunderstood—or we are. We can’t rely on others to guess our thoughts or needs. We have to advocate. Self-advocacy builds on self-awareness because students have to know their strengths, challenges, and support needs. It also means understanding their rights, knowing the available resources, and being able to communicate clearly and confidently about what supports will help them succeed—in school, at work, in relationships, and in the community. Self-advocacy is about asking for what you need to thrive—and even fighting for those needs when you have to.
5. Choice-Making
While the first four self-determination skills focus on students knowing and expressing themselves, choice-making is about beginning to take action. It’s often a child’s first real opportunity to exercise autonomy. Choice-making involves selecting from a limited number of options—like picking clothes from a drawer, deciding which classmates to invite to a party, choosing a book for an assignment, or selecting which homework task to complete first. These moments might seem small, but they lay the groundwork for making bigger, more complex choices later in life. And yet, many students move through entire days or weeks without making any meaningful choices for themselves. By providing regular opportunities to make choices—at home, at school, and in the community—we help students develop confidence, a sense of control, and a stronger voice in their own lives.
6. Decision-Making
If choice-making is about picking from a short list, decision-making is about figuring out what’s even on that list. Students need to be able to make informed choices when there are multiple, undefined or less-defined options. It’s more open-ended—and more complex. Decision-making involves identifying possible choices, weighing pros and cons, thinking through outcomes, and choosing a path forward. For students, it might look like deciding what to do at recess, how to study for a test, or what kind of job to try over the summer. These skills don’t come naturally to everyone, and many students—especially those with executive function challenges—need structured practice. Teaching simple strategies, like using a pro/con list or rating scale, gives students the tools to make thoughtful choices. And starting with low-stakes decisions—like what movie to watch or how to spend $10 at an ice cream stand—helps them build confidence for the bigger decisions that come with transition planning.
7. Problem-Solving
Even when students make good decisions, challenges come up—especially when other people are involved. That’s where problem-solving comes in. It starts with recognizing when something isn’t working, evaluating and figuring out why, and thinking through ways to fix it. One of the most important aspects of problem-solving is simply being able to come up with more than one possible solution. It’s about staying flexible, asking for help when needed, and adjusting your plan without giving up. Students benefit from frequent opportunities to practice problem-solving: oversleeping and figuring out how to get to school, forgetting a lunch and finding a way to eat anyway, missing class and making a plan to catch up. Like decision-making, problem-solving is a complex skill, but it’s one that can be taught and strengthened through real-life situations (almost every day). When we help students break down a problem, generate possible solutions, consider the consequences of each one, try something out, and reflect on what worked (or didn’t), we give them tools they’ll use for the rest of their lives—especially when things don’t go as planned.
8. Goal Setting and Attainment
The crux of self-determination is when students can set goals for themselves—goals that are based on self-knowledge—make a plan for achieving those goals and take real steps to follow that plan. It’s more than just naming what you want; it’s about breaking a goal into manageable steps, pushing yourself to stay on track, and adjusting when things don’t go as planned. Goal setting and attainment relies on students learning how to plan, problem-solve, and persist. Many students start with small, concrete goals—like saving money for a purchase, planning a social event, completing a multi-step project, or improving a daily routine. Over time, they build toward bigger, long-term goals—like learning to drive, saving for a car, preparing to attend an overnight summer program, or applying for college. And with every goal they pursue—whether they achieve it or not—they gain confidence, insight, and a greater sense of control over their future.
Final Thoughts
Self-determination skills are pivotal for every student transitioning from K–12 education to adult life. We know that students who are more self-determined are more likely to have a positive experience in school—and more likely to experience success and satisfaction in adulthood. What’s awesome about these skills is that they can be explicitly taught. Students can discover the strategies and tools that work for them, and with practice, they can gradually take the wheel in their own lives. But to teach self-determination effectively, we need to understand what it actually includes—which is why I wrote this week’s Substack.
Helping students become more self-determined will always be a core theme of my writing, along with exploring the many ways we as adults can step back and support students in taking charge. If you haven’t already read my previous article on the importance of self-determination, you can check it out here: Self-Determination: The Key to Successful Transition. And feel free to share in the comments how you support your kids or students in building self-determination!
